You're so nebulous sometimes
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
