They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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