help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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