Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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