is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
