after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
