This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
