i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
