i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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