What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
