Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
