Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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