Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
