Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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