I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
