His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
