Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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