the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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