I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
