yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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