ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
