how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
