Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize
