wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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