The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
