My first STD was from a foam party
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
