so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My ass is underappreciated
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
