You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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