these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
