I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
