oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i think i have herpe
just one?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
