cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
