dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
