I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Drunk is not a location!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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