Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
