so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
