I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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