Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
