Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
