Me. At least after what I've been through.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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