I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
