I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
