I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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