so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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