508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's no shave November. This is our time.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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