To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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