Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
