it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
