Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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