My first STD was from a foam party
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
