Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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