I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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