Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
