I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
