wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
